I'm Aware, Too Aware

Today is Cancer Awareness Day.  I'm aware, really I am. I'm aware of the horrible disease that took away my uncle way too early. I'm aware of the hole in my family that can not be replaced. I'm aware that I can't play Phase 10 with him anymore. I'm aware that his rocking chair sits empty on game days. I'm aware that my aunt, my cousin and I won't be receiving chocolate covered strawberries from him on Valentine's Day. I'm aware that I didn't spend enough time with him. I'm aware that my sons probably won't remember him and will never know the joyful man he was before he became ill.  I'm aware that future generations won't have the privilege of hugging him or him nicknaming them. I'm aware that he won't answer the phone of the number I still have saved in my phone. I'm aware that he won't be singing silly songs to me anymore. I'm aware.

I'm aware of the disease that has put family members in deep medical debt.  I'm aware of the sickness that keeps my mom's cousin from making a simple grocery store run during flu season because her immune system just can't take the risk.  I'm aware of the hurting of my neighbor who lost her dad too soon. I'm aware of another neighbor who is aching for her mom. I'm aware of my friend who is missing her mom today and celebrating the life of her husband.

I'm aware of the family who is preparing to live out the hell of a double mastectomy and the following chemotherapy.  I'm aware of the family who is painfully aware of childhood cancer and still grieving the loss of a daughter and sister. I'm aware. Too aware.

I'm also aware that one day, this hell won't exist anymore and we will be reunited with our loved ones Some days, I long for Jesus to come back and for Heaven on Earth. But I'm thankful for God's patience in making sure that everyone comes to know Him and love Him.

Isaiah 61